B&B SoapDuds Awards

"Actress Who Couldn't Cry If Her Life Depended On It" award goes to Bridget. Doesn't matter what happens to that girl: miscarriage, divorce, can't find a good parking space, she can't bring herself to well up the waterworks. Oh, she makes a good show of it by squinting and wiping her eyes, but it just doesn't cut it.

"Actress Most in Need of A MakeOver" award goes to Katherine Kelly Lang. She is TOO OLD for that stringy bright blonde hair. She sported that look in her 20's. She needs a new short do and a more age appropriate color.

"Actor Who Couldn't Act His Way Out Of A Box Of Maxi-Pads (with wings!)" award will always go to Ronn Moss for as long as he's on the show. I don't know how this man has managed to stay on tv so long. He must have inappropriate pictures of some muckity muck.

"Act Your Own Age" award goes to Eric Forrester. UGH. Enough with screwing chicks young enough to be your granddaughters! Not only should you be ashamed, you should be off reading your AARP magazine instead. When you're in bed with a young, voluptuous woman and the only thing that gets you hard is Viagra, you seriously need to GIVE IT UP.

"Actor Most In Need of a MakeOver" award goes to John McCook. CUT THOSE DAMN CATERPILLAR EYEBROWS!! The hairs are moving in all different directions.

"Actress Whose 'Poor Pitiful Me' Routine Is Beyond Annoying" award goes to Donna Logan. Strong, independent Donna Logan goes after what she wants: another woman's husband, a job in high fashion, her sister's man, but is reduced to a whiney babbler when she gets stuck in the tanning booth. When she "cried" she might as well have just said, "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" cuz that's what it sounded like.